I've been the trainer who runs on energy alone. Then I learned to design so the day doesn't matter.

I never planned to be a trainer. I didn't even know the job existed.

My dream was to be a mixologist. Flipping bottles behind a bar, looking cool.

After STPM, I didn't want to study. I wanted to work. So I did everything. Mall promoter, door to door selling perfume, F&B, retail. The best paying one was handing out flyers on the street. That flyer job led to a phone call that changed my life, though I had no idea at the time.

My supervisor said the sister company was hiring full time. I was 21 and naive. I thought it was a full time flyer job with a car to drive. I said why not.

Turns out it was an Assistant Trainer job. First aid and CPR. I packed the gear, set up the room, and ran the hands-on practice so learners could try the skills. I didn't know the topic. I didn't know anything.

On day one, I wanted to run away.

My mentor asked me to practise my presentation. I stood there like a fool, talking to an empty room, faking jokes for people who weren't there. I felt stupid. That feeling of wanting to escape got bigger and bigger. So one day I just switched off my phone and disappeared.

A few days later my mum told me the company had called. They were going to report me to the police, because I still had their laptop. So I went back to resign properly.

But my mentor sat me down. She took a risk on me. She asked me to give myself one more chance and present a real topic that weekend. I thought about it, and I said yes. I spent two days at home reciting the script, picturing the room, guessing the questions.

Then it was show time. I still remember that room. Big empty space, a whiteboard, a long table, everyone in blue. To me it felt like a grand stage. And during that session there was laughter, there was fun, people were with me. That was the moment I knew. This is what I want to do for a long time.

Then I fell into a trap.

I got hooked on that stage feeling. The laughter, the energy, the buzz. For years I thought that was the job. Make the room happy. I was good at it.

But a happy room is not the same as a room that learned something. One day I ran a session and nobody responded. Not one person, except a single learner. The rest just sat there. That day I realised the truth. If I only follow a script and only perform, it works for me, not for them. I was entertaining, not teaching.

That's when design started to matter.

It didn't come from a book. It came from need. One day the boss handed me a bag of maybe fifty brochures and asked me to write a team building proposal. I read every single one that night. One idea stuck. Run a programme with a theme, a storyline, not just random games. I had just watched 300, so my first ever proposal was a water based, Spartan themed team building. That was the first time I designed something instead of just delivering it.

After that I kept doing it. At the next company I stayed up a whole night to turn dry first aid training into a game. Every time, the design came from staying up late and solving a real problem.

Then came the years nobody puts on a website.

From 2015 to 2018, I went freelance, and it was hard. Work came and went. A training provider could drop me any time for someone cheaper. Some didn't care how good I was. This is when I learned what a freelance trainer's life really feels like, because I lived it.

I tried things. A short stint in business development at an escape room. A training company I started with someone I met there, which didn't last. I rejoined my first company as a senior instructor, then left over a difference in direction. A few of us went on to build a first aid company together.

But I kept hitting the same wall. Providers only saw me as the first aid guy. They wouldn't let me push team building. At the first aid company we struggled too, because the people we dealt with were mostly from safety. I was boxed in.

Then COVID hit. Training stopped. I took a full time e-commerce job for two years. I told myself maybe it was time to settle down. I was tired. But that job taught me marketing, processes, and how to build an online business from the sale all the way to delivery. Skills most trainers never pick up.

As COVID eased and training reopened, the requests started coming back. A friend pointed me to an internal L&D role, and I took it because I'd never seen training from the inside. That year changed how I see everything. I watched how decisions really get made, how proposals get judged, what other trainers do in the room. After that I wasn't just a trainer. I could see through the client's eyes and the trainer's eyes at the same time.

The role was a one year contract. When it ended, I went back to freelance. By then ChatGPT had just launched.

Then AI came in, quietly.

I started using ChatGPT when it launched in late 2022. By the end of 2023 I was working on it seriously, AI-first in how I prepared and designed. I wasn't shouting about it. I just used it.

In 2024, some trainer friends asked how I used it. They noticed I didn't just throw questions at it. I used it in a structured way. That got me curious about my own thinking, and the sharing began.

Here is what AI really changed for me. It did not just make me faster. It made me think deeper before the room. Now, instead of asking "what activities should I run", I ask "what mindset do they walk in with, and how do I shift it". AI helps me map the learner before they even arrive. The design got sharper, not just quicker.

The last hard choice.

Before I went all in, I took a stable full time job at a well known company. Steady pay, safe. Two months in, I was commuting every morning, squeezed in with the crowd, and one question kept coming. Why am I doing this, as if I have nothing better to offer? So I resigned and gave training my full attention. Stability gave me only so much. Freedom gave me the rest.

What I believe now.

Learner first. The session is built for them, not for me to look good.

Trainer eats last. The learner is served first. I'm last in line, and that's the point.

Impact over completion. Finishing the slides is not the win. What people do differently after is the win.

Honest in the room. If I don't know, I say "I don't know, let me check."

I'm a trainer, but I work like a facilitator. I don't stand in front and perform anymore. I build the session so the learner does the work. I don't do guru. I design so the learning stays, even when I'm not in the room.